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Letter 32 - To the Misses Klein and Schoeffler
Jesus, Mary, Joseph
The feast of St. Thomas of Canterbury [29 December 1846
My very dear Friends,
No reproaches, I beg of you, that I have delayed until now to reply to your kind, excellent letters, I would say, almost superhuman. . . Your submission to Divine Providence amazes me and almost makes me blush, when I think that I myself must live more than anyone else in this spirit of submission, and that quite often I become impatient when things don’t go my way. What do you expect? Man remains always man! What to do? Pray that God will provide us with more and more of this spirit of submission. Christmas has passed, and as you presume rightly, I am not a priest. On one hand, I would have desired this sacred priesthood, on the other, I find myself so unworthy that I do not dare think that each day brings me closer to this great moment. Oh! My very dear Friends: pray for Augustine who does not forget you in his prayers, which are sometimes quite cold, and even glacial. But God, Who is so good, onconsidering my good will, will nonetheless reward my good intentions. What can I wishyou, my very dear Friends, at the start of this year? Nothing new, which is the point of my continual wishes for you. And you know those wishes: peace and happiness in this life and in the next. I have not seen Father Bour again for quite some time. I am starting to lean to your opinion concerning this priest. I believe he is a great promise-maker but that he rarely follows through. Yet he should consider carefully all the services which my poor and kind uncle provided him previously, and today pay a little something in return. But no, he promised to come to see me at the Seminary: he has not yet done it. Besides, the feeling of reserve and the coolness towards me which I saw in him should haveindicated to me that in this matter, I was entertaining a vain illusion. To be sure, he wasnot so distant when I saw him at Nancy. He wants to withdraw himself a bit from the world, he said at the time; if that is the actual reason, I can still forgive him. You have already felt it, and so have I: that the more one knows about the world, the more one wants to withdraw from it. Oh! What a sad case is the world. No, it could not please me. So, let us not any longer rely on Father Bour; I doubt that I will ever go back to see him. As for the books, I have already tried to find them. Lately, I was walking along a street, I saw a door, I hoped — but simpleton that I am — I didn’t pay attention to the street name nor to the house number. I returned shortly after to look for that address but I was unsuccessful. It is truly unfortunate. Write to Eliza in Phalsbourg to learn 1 these different addresses; she will quickly have found them. We would need here a dedicated man, one well-known in Paris; then your project would could move ahead. Otherwise, I can say with certainty: no hope. The more I gather information, the more I see that this is the case. What is kind Father Chable up to? He, through the Reverend Jesuit Fathers,could perhaps do the most, because these Reverend Fathers are in contact with a greatnumber of people. They are also spiritual directors to a great number. So, here is oneway to go; but before taking a chance, check everything out carefully because a few thousand francs can quickly be lost. Would that I could be of some help to you, but what can I do? Nothing, absolutely nothing.
I was greatly hurt that poor Father Mastraka still could not come to Paris; I would have greatly liked to see him. I wish him the best of successes at the beginningand during the year 1847. Even though your plan for Paris will perhaps not be realized,nonetheless I hope that you will come to visit me before or after Trinity Sunday. Right now start making your plans. Very often, I think of the happy moments we spent together, of the beautiful places that you insisted on showing me. Oh! Yes, I do remember it all, and I wish Icould thank you to the degree that your kind heart deserves for all the kindnesses you have always done for me. I have just written to Elisa; I talked to her also about this. She will have a good laugh and make fun of me, the scoundrel! But we should rather be the ones to laugh because she has seen the reverse of the medal, while we have seen only the bright side. Ah! Must it be that the happy moments spent here below be so short? Rather, it is a pleasure, because at the very least, it proves to us that we must not become attached to what passes so quickly, but to search for our happiness elsewhere. Yes, only in the service of God does our happiness lie here below; in the afterlife, it will be in heaven, after we have fulfilled our tasks well. Ah! It is there, my very dear Friends, that we will be very happy; no more worries about setting up a boarding school in Paris, no more fears for Wiesbaden. Oh! May the moment when all of us will be united up there be not too long delayed. A happy moment is death when one is well prepared for it. Let our life be a continuous preparation. I repeat it once more: let us pray, let us pray for each other, for the dead, for the living. Often I have the pleasure of going to Notre-Dame-des-Victoires2, noted forso many miracles. Oh! I am not forgetting you with the kind Mother. I ask her that she obtain for you from her Divine Son countless graces, one in particular, my very dear friends; I will tell you about it, but not right now. But if I obtain it, I will tell you. I’ve been working on it for quite some time; it seems that my prayers are utterly powerless. Oh! Yes they are; it is upon this miraculous altar — if possible, and if God judges me worthy of this grace — that I hope to say my first Mass. Then once more I will againwith more confidence ask for this great grace; in the end, my perseverance will strike home, I hope3.
As for my future, I really have to tell you — perhaps I will grieve you, but may God support you, my very dear Friends — I continue to persevere in my vocation. The more I study the constitutions of our congregation, the more I see that it was here that I should come. Now, there only remains for my directors to make a decision as to my fate . If they don’t want to admit me among their colleagues, 4 ues, I will leave brokenhearted, but nonetheless resigned to the divine will, because then I will be sure that I amnot called to the Missions. I will return peacefully to the Nancy Seminary where theywill accept me again, I am sure. A letter from one of the directors of this establishment— a letter which I received a few days ago — truly proves to me that I still retain theaffection of my dear former teachers, and that my reappearance among them will notdiminish the esteem which they really had for me. Let Divine Providence do its thing You ask me, my very dear Aunt, if I need anything here, either in money or in other [. . . ] I will tell you frankly that I am poor; 30 sous make up my whole fortune; but I love this poverty because this has to be my life. If you wish to give me a gift, wait, if you please, until I become a priest, because then I will need to buy a portable altar — and I still don’t know to whom I should address myself. I don’t know if my poor fatherwould wish, in this circumstance, to come to my help. It is true that if absolutely necessary, the congregation will supply me with what I need, but I have already cost them enough. At this moment, I do not want to be beholden to them any more. So wait until that time, or, if you wish to send me something now, I will save it until then. Only, however, if I must leave for the missions; otherwise I won’t need vestments or a chalice. The parish where I will be sent will supply them for me. I must now take another small sheet of paper. I really like conversing with you by letter since I can no longer do it orally. I wrote to Uncle André a few weeks agoweeks. I don’t know if he is married or not. I congratulated him on his marriage. Since I have been here, I have not yet received any letter from Phalsbourg, nor from Saint- Louis, except from Elisa who sent me a long letter, but in which in no way does she speak of my family. Maybe they want to starve me of news and thereby attract me to Phalsbourg. Certainly this is not the way to do it, because the more they forsake me, themore I will also forsake them — except before God and the loving Mother to whom I will always pray with more fervor. The more they forsake me, then rightly, I will no longer have a father other than the divine Jesus-Christ, and for mother, the Loving Mary; and I will certainly not lose in the exchange. In this lies the missionary’s wish: to have Jesus-Christ as Father, Mary as Mother. But you, my friends, do not forsake me.From all sides, I receive letters from all those who were close to me in the world, and my resolve has brought me new friends whom I did not even know. See how this word of Holy Scripture is confirmed: “ He who leaves for me. . . will receive a hundredfold5. This is true already here below. Besides, would not my dear friends whom I gained here among my colleagues be enough to prove the truth of this saying? And now I must leave you with my 30 sous, my whole fortune, like the poor devil. Goodbye, my kind and dear Friends; goodbye. Always think of me as much as I think of you. Let us strive especially to meet each other in heaven. While awaiting this blessed event, let us join together for an instant in the Sacred Hearts of Jesus and of Mary. Good day: it is noon. Bon appétit.
Your most devoted and most affectionate friend, Schoeffler
My regards and congratulations to Mina and Marie: may they always tighten their friendship. Courage. Pray that God will enlighten me more and more. Also to Father Mastraka, this fine gentleman, etc., etc. To the young pupils who still remember me, I wish them well — the same to Mina — for their New Year. Many and manyvirtues and much knowledge at the end of the year 1847.
1 This person, named twice in the letters, has not been identified.
2 Already mentioned in Letter 24. In the second arrondissement of Paris. “The parish of Notre-Damedes-Victoires, located in the center of Paris — itself the center of commerce and business — is surrounded by theaters and amusement places, having become the central point from which left and where ended the political movements which disturbed Paris during so many years. The parish of Notre-Damedes-Victoires had seen extinguished in its heart almost all feeling, almost all religious thought. Its church was deserted, even on the days of great pomp. [. . . ] In the first days of December 1836, a pious thought was inspired: that of consecrating the parish of Notre-Dame-des-Victoires to the Holy and Immaculate Heart of Mary, to obtain by her protection, the grace of the conversion of sinners.” Manuel d’instructions et de prières à l’usage des membres de l’archiconfrérie du très et immaculé coeur de Marie. . . Father Desgenettes, 3 éd., Paris 1840. — It is in this church that Augustine would come to celebrate e rate his First Masses for the intention of his family (see Letter 42). From 1846 on, he began most of his letters with J.M.J. (Jesus, Mary, Joseph), or V.J.V.M. (Long live Jesus, long live Mary). From 1845 on, numerous closings include a reference to “the Sacred Hearts of Jesus and Mary.”
3 Could this “grace” be the conversion of Miss Klein to Catholicism?
4 Yet, in the preceding letter, dated 10 December, he writes to his uncle André: “From now on, I am incorporated in the Society of the Foreign Missions.” No doubt he wishes to forestall any new efforts by his aunt to prevent him from leaving. He has already delayed the truth of his missionary vocation, mentioned in a letter to Stricher, and forgotten in a later letter to Élise.
5 Matthew 19:29, and Mark 10:30.
No reproaches, I beg of you, that I have delayed until now to reply to your kind, excellent letters, I would say, almost superhuman. . . Your submission to Divine Providence amazes me and almost makes me blush, when I think that I myself must live more than anyone else in this spirit of submission, and that quite often I become impatient when things don’t go my way. What do you expect? Man remains always man! What to do? Pray that God will provide us with more and more of this spirit of submission. Christmas has passed, and as you presume rightly, I am not a priest. On one hand, I would have desired this sacred priesthood, on the other, I find myself so unworthy that I do not dare think that each day brings me closer to this great moment. Oh! My very dear Friends: pray for Augustine who does not forget you in his prayers, which are sometimes quite cold, and even glacial. But God, Who is so good, onconsidering my good will, will nonetheless reward my good intentions. What can I wishyou, my very dear Friends, at the start of this year? Nothing new, which is the point of my continual wishes for you. And you know those wishes: peace and happiness in this life and in the next. I have not seen Father Bour again for quite some time. I am starting to lean to your opinion concerning this priest. I believe he is a great promise-maker but that he rarely follows through. Yet he should consider carefully all the services which my poor and kind uncle provided him previously, and today pay a little something in return. But no, he promised to come to see me at the Seminary: he has not yet done it. Besides, the feeling of reserve and the coolness towards me which I saw in him should haveindicated to me that in this matter, I was entertaining a vain illusion. To be sure, he wasnot so distant when I saw him at Nancy. He wants to withdraw himself a bit from the world, he said at the time; if that is the actual reason, I can still forgive him. You have already felt it, and so have I: that the more one knows about the world, the more one wants to withdraw from it. Oh! What a sad case is the world. No, it could not please me. So, let us not any longer rely on Father Bour; I doubt that I will ever go back to see him. As for the books, I have already tried to find them. Lately, I was walking along a street, I saw a door, I hoped — but simpleton that I am — I didn’t pay attention to the street name nor to the house number. I returned shortly after to look for that address but I was unsuccessful. It is truly unfortunate. Write to Eliza in Phalsbourg to learn 1 these different addresses; she will quickly have found them. We would need here a dedicated man, one well-known in Paris; then your project would could move ahead. Otherwise, I can say with certainty: no hope. The more I gather information, the more I see that this is the case. What is kind Father Chable up to? He, through the Reverend Jesuit Fathers,could perhaps do the most, because these Reverend Fathers are in contact with a greatnumber of people. They are also spiritual directors to a great number. So, here is oneway to go; but before taking a chance, check everything out carefully because a few thousand francs can quickly be lost. Would that I could be of some help to you, but what can I do? Nothing, absolutely nothing.
I was greatly hurt that poor Father Mastraka still could not come to Paris; I would have greatly liked to see him. I wish him the best of successes at the beginningand during the year 1847. Even though your plan for Paris will perhaps not be realized,nonetheless I hope that you will come to visit me before or after Trinity Sunday. Right now start making your plans. Very often, I think of the happy moments we spent together, of the beautiful places that you insisted on showing me. Oh! Yes, I do remember it all, and I wish Icould thank you to the degree that your kind heart deserves for all the kindnesses you have always done for me. I have just written to Elisa; I talked to her also about this. She will have a good laugh and make fun of me, the scoundrel! But we should rather be the ones to laugh because she has seen the reverse of the medal, while we have seen only the bright side. Ah! Must it be that the happy moments spent here below be so short? Rather, it is a pleasure, because at the very least, it proves to us that we must not become attached to what passes so quickly, but to search for our happiness elsewhere. Yes, only in the service of God does our happiness lie here below; in the afterlife, it will be in heaven, after we have fulfilled our tasks well. Ah! It is there, my very dear Friends, that we will be very happy; no more worries about setting up a boarding school in Paris, no more fears for Wiesbaden. Oh! May the moment when all of us will be united up there be not too long delayed. A happy moment is death when one is well prepared for it. Let our life be a continuous preparation. I repeat it once more: let us pray, let us pray for each other, for the dead, for the living. Often I have the pleasure of going to Notre-Dame-des-Victoires2, noted forso many miracles. Oh! I am not forgetting you with the kind Mother. I ask her that she obtain for you from her Divine Son countless graces, one in particular, my very dear friends; I will tell you about it, but not right now. But if I obtain it, I will tell you. I’ve been working on it for quite some time; it seems that my prayers are utterly powerless. Oh! Yes they are; it is upon this miraculous altar — if possible, and if God judges me worthy of this grace — that I hope to say my first Mass. Then once more I will againwith more confidence ask for this great grace; in the end, my perseverance will strike home, I hope3.
As for my future, I really have to tell you — perhaps I will grieve you, but may God support you, my very dear Friends — I continue to persevere in my vocation. The more I study the constitutions of our congregation, the more I see that it was here that I should come. Now, there only remains for my directors to make a decision as to my fate . If they don’t want to admit me among their colleagues, 4 ues, I will leave brokenhearted, but nonetheless resigned to the divine will, because then I will be sure that I amnot called to the Missions. I will return peacefully to the Nancy Seminary where theywill accept me again, I am sure. A letter from one of the directors of this establishment— a letter which I received a few days ago — truly proves to me that I still retain theaffection of my dear former teachers, and that my reappearance among them will notdiminish the esteem which they really had for me. Let Divine Providence do its thing You ask me, my very dear Aunt, if I need anything here, either in money or in other [. . . ] I will tell you frankly that I am poor; 30 sous make up my whole fortune; but I love this poverty because this has to be my life. If you wish to give me a gift, wait, if you please, until I become a priest, because then I will need to buy a portable altar — and I still don’t know to whom I should address myself. I don’t know if my poor fatherwould wish, in this circumstance, to come to my help. It is true that if absolutely necessary, the congregation will supply me with what I need, but I have already cost them enough. At this moment, I do not want to be beholden to them any more. So wait until that time, or, if you wish to send me something now, I will save it until then. Only, however, if I must leave for the missions; otherwise I won’t need vestments or a chalice. The parish where I will be sent will supply them for me. I must now take another small sheet of paper. I really like conversing with you by letter since I can no longer do it orally. I wrote to Uncle André a few weeks agoweeks. I don’t know if he is married or not. I congratulated him on his marriage. Since I have been here, I have not yet received any letter from Phalsbourg, nor from Saint- Louis, except from Elisa who sent me a long letter, but in which in no way does she speak of my family. Maybe they want to starve me of news and thereby attract me to Phalsbourg. Certainly this is not the way to do it, because the more they forsake me, themore I will also forsake them — except before God and the loving Mother to whom I will always pray with more fervor. The more they forsake me, then rightly, I will no longer have a father other than the divine Jesus-Christ, and for mother, the Loving Mary; and I will certainly not lose in the exchange. In this lies the missionary’s wish: to have Jesus-Christ as Father, Mary as Mother. But you, my friends, do not forsake me.From all sides, I receive letters from all those who were close to me in the world, and my resolve has brought me new friends whom I did not even know. See how this word of Holy Scripture is confirmed: “ He who leaves for me. . . will receive a hundredfold5. This is true already here below. Besides, would not my dear friends whom I gained here among my colleagues be enough to prove the truth of this saying? And now I must leave you with my 30 sous, my whole fortune, like the poor devil. Goodbye, my kind and dear Friends; goodbye. Always think of me as much as I think of you. Let us strive especially to meet each other in heaven. While awaiting this blessed event, let us join together for an instant in the Sacred Hearts of Jesus and of Mary. Good day: it is noon. Bon appétit.
Your most devoted and most affectionate friend, Schoeffler
My regards and congratulations to Mina and Marie: may they always tighten their friendship. Courage. Pray that God will enlighten me more and more. Also to Father Mastraka, this fine gentleman, etc., etc. To the young pupils who still remember me, I wish them well — the same to Mina — for their New Year. Many and manyvirtues and much knowledge at the end of the year 1847.
1 This person, named twice in the letters, has not been identified.
2 Already mentioned in Letter 24. In the second arrondissement of Paris. “The parish of Notre-Damedes-Victoires, located in the center of Paris — itself the center of commerce and business — is surrounded by theaters and amusement places, having become the central point from which left and where ended the political movements which disturbed Paris during so many years. The parish of Notre-Damedes-Victoires had seen extinguished in its heart almost all feeling, almost all religious thought. Its church was deserted, even on the days of great pomp. [. . . ] In the first days of December 1836, a pious thought was inspired: that of consecrating the parish of Notre-Dame-des-Victoires to the Holy and Immaculate Heart of Mary, to obtain by her protection, the grace of the conversion of sinners.” Manuel d’instructions et de prières à l’usage des membres de l’archiconfrérie du très et immaculé coeur de Marie. . . Father Desgenettes, 3 éd., Paris 1840. — It is in this church that Augustine would come to celebrate e rate his First Masses for the intention of his family (see Letter 42). From 1846 on, he began most of his letters with J.M.J. (Jesus, Mary, Joseph), or V.J.V.M. (Long live Jesus, long live Mary). From 1845 on, numerous closings include a reference to “the Sacred Hearts of Jesus and Mary.”
3 Could this “grace” be the conversion of Miss Klein to Catholicism?
4 Yet, in the preceding letter, dated 10 December, he writes to his uncle André: “From now on, I am incorporated in the Society of the Foreign Missions.” No doubt he wishes to forestall any new efforts by his aunt to prevent him from leaving. He has already delayed the truth of his missionary vocation, mentioned in a letter to Stricher, and forgotten in a later letter to Élise.
5 Matthew 19:29, and Mark 10:30.
